Legend of Kyoto
by Tanuki Kaoru
Summary: ...read and see


THE LEGEND OF KYOTO By Tanuki Kaoru.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
SUMMARY:  
  
Kenshin has finally found his place in the world, where he can truly be happy, and that is in the food catering world. And besides, when Anime characters go crazy, all over madness ensues......  
  
NOTE: This fic is solely for entertaniment purposes and I dont own RK, and never will, so all lawyers on a 1000 km radius stop approaching me!!!!!!  
  
~~~~~~  
  
CAST:  
  
Chairperson: Hajime Saito  
  
The Food Doctor: Chou Sawadejo  
  
Announcer 1: Soujiro Seta  
  
Announcer 2: Aoshi Shinomori  
  
Announcer 3: Tanuki Kaoru Kamimura [Tanikao]  
  
Camera person: Sanosuke Sagara  
  
Iron Chef Japanese: Kenshin Himura  
  
Iron Chef French: Misao Makimachi  
  
Iron Chef Chinese: Enishi Yukishiro  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Soujiro: *smiling* Here we are today in Kitchen Stadium in Mibu-  
  
Tanikao: Why is it in Mibu anyway?  
  
Aoshi: cuz' Saito only agreed to it if the show was based in Mibu.  
  
Soujiro: *little cross on head but smiling* and here is Chairperson Saito!  
  
Saito: *looking up from bowl of Soba* Oh right *sigh* if my memory serves me correctly, I do believe we have never had a chef of this caliber before on Iron Chef-  
  
Tanikao: That's cuz this is you're first show you dopehead!  
  
Saito: Did you just call me a dopehead you little b-  
  
Kenshin: That's enough now as it is, she is after all the writer of this fanfic.  
  
Saito: Whatever. This man renowned for his impeccable abilities with his katana and wakizashi modelled cutting knives, he has worked in the Abenoshi Haiku Inn for 3 years and is among one of the most feared chefs in the industry, his dishes all having a certain coppery tang flavour and strongly relying on heat and fiery spices to bring out the true flavour of the meat, normally beef.  
  
Audience: Ooooooooooooooooooohhhhh!  
  
Saito: Unfortunately, while making his trademark dish, Kaguzuchi Hotplate on top of chilli Homuradama rice, he was scorched from head to toe because the assistant accidentally dropped a whole carton of petrol for the gas barbeque next to him and some of the flame from his Homuradama ignited it and...KABUSHKA!!!!!  
  
Tanikao: What the heck was that?  
  
Kenshin: Its a phrase expressing interjection of surprise and explosive power.  
  
Tanikao: Right.  
  
Saito: And now here he is, after a 10 year break to earn back his reputation and to prove his ideal of "the strongest survive while the weak pass out cuz' my chilli is too hot" Mr Makoto Shishio!  
  
OUT POPS SHISHIO  
  
Shishio: Thank you for having me here, Mr Saito *holds out hand*  
  
Saito: My pleasure. *shakes Shishio's hand* *face becomes red and wincing slightly*  
  
Shishio: My apologies. Due to my burns, my body has continued to burn hotter than normal for 10 years, you could say say fires of hell burn inside of me.  
  
Saito: -_-; Okay. The time to fight is now!  
  
Aoshi: Oy! That's my phrase!  
  
Okina: Well, he has changed...dramatically...for the worst...  
  
Saito: Will you shut up?!?!?! Now I call upon the Iron Chefs!  
  
IRON CHEFS APPEAR  
  
Saito: Now choose, who shall be your opponent today?  
  
Shishio: Hmmm...decisions decisions decisions.....who shall I cal upon?  
  
Kenshin: *thinking* I need to go potty! Darn, shouldn't of drank that Kebab in a Can thing...sano will pay... [watch Merrick and Rosso Unplanned]  
  
Kaoru: *from the audience* Its your own fault Kenshin, I told you not to but no! You just had to and now you need to go to the little boys room!  
  
Kenji: mmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............  
  
Hiko: Idiot apprentice.  
  
Shishio: I choose Iron Chef Fr- no! Iron Chef Japanese! Battousai it is time!  
  
Kenshin: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Saito: Finally *thinking* I need a smoke, but Sagara seriously sells good stuff, I mean Marlboro brand is to light for me *normally* The theme ingredient for today is....butter! *removes velvet cloth to reveal several sticks of various types of butter.*  
  
THAT INTRO THINGY TO BUTTER STARTS.  
  
Saito: If my memory serves me correctly, butter, one of the richest sources for nourishment has been used for as long as I can remember as a creamy sauce or simply on Soba based buckwheat bread *drool* and there is a saying that goes with it on how to enjoy butter:  
  
**Scrape the first 11 layers of butter, and use the blunt side of the knife**  
  
END INTRO  
  
Saito: Allez cuisine!  
  
Soujiro: so Doc, give us the lowdown on butter.  
  
Chou: Well, butter has been used as a spread for bread and in some various French dishes as a sauce and in Italian dishes such as Alfredo Fettucini.  
  
Aoshi: ...  
  
Soujiro: So its more for suited for European dishes right?  
  
Tanikao: But look at them go! Shishio alread has a tray full of butter, and my mum's gonna kill me if she finds out I spent all my money on this! But Kenshin's already slicing the goat's milk butter into little triangles, and there he goes with the anchovies and wasabi. I think there botth trying to spice each other out!  
  
Chou: What kinda stupid joke was that?  
  
Aoshi: If you two don't shut up soon, I'll release the wrath I've been waiting to release for the past 15 minutes.  
  
Chou: And what exactly is that?  
  
Aoshi: The Shinomori Fart.  
  
Tanikao: ... but look at Shishio go! But what is he doing? Sano?  
  
Sanosuke: *crazed* Shishio's trying to give me a Futae no Kiwami for getting in his way...but I have determined he has pulled out his Katana model knife and has ignited it with a Homuradama and is currently grilling some green capsicum, and he has mixed some butter with sake and Vietnamese mint, back to you!  
  
Megumi: 15 minutes have elapsed.  
  
Aoshi: But this has literally become a fight to the death! Look! Shishio has the upper hand cuz' he has cooked with butter before, whereas Kenshin hasn't ever used butter before due to the strict budget at the Kamiya Inn.  
  
Chou: So, do you know my name yet boss?  
  
Saito: Ummmmmm........is it Yugi Motou??  
  
Chou: *fallen over* why do I even bother?  
  
Chou: But wow..never seen that before. Kenshin's Amakakeru Ryu No Hirameki- ing the eel...oh boy, Shishio's Kaguzuchi-ing the Fillet Mingnion Steak, but what's that red stuff in the container over there?  
  
Tanikao: I do believe it is chicken blood.  
  
Megumi: 30 minutes have elapsed.  
  
Soujiro: So Kenshin's using the force from the Ryu Kan Sen Arachi to blend the butter with the rice, braised duck, shallots, potatoes, yams and Shitake mushrooms?  
  
Chou: Yes, and my mouth is watering by just looking at that rice combination, it's good enough to eat as it is and -  
  
Aoshi: Wait! He's wrapping it in yuba triangles! What else will he do to it?  
  
Tanikao: I think he will grill it and then make a dipping sauce out of it using wasabi blended with dijon mustard.  
  
Soujiro: Oh boy, Lord Shishio's having some major setbacks. He just Homuradama-ed an assistant for burning the sushi rice and another for adding too little chilli to the blood red liquid in the container. But we can say that one of his dishes will have soba noodles in it.  
  
Saito: Did someone say soba noodles?  
  
Soujiro: Look, he's wrapped the fillet mingnion steak in thin layers of different flavoured butter before adding a layer of his red liquid, which may I add has been thickened. But that seriously smells delicious.  
  
Tanikao: But seriously, that's way too spicy for me, and look, now he's pan frying it and he's currently coating a red herring fish with red miso paste and stuffing it with bamboo, shallots, and white mushrooms, not to mention that buttery mixture seen earlier and Guren Kaina sauce.  
  
Sanosuke: Tanikao! I have just asked both the challenger and Iron Chef how many dishes they're shooting for, Kenshin has said maybe three whereas Shishio ignored me completely and sent a Homuradama at me...sheesh! He could've just asked me to move!  
  
Shishio: Move!  
  
Sanosuke: ...  
  
Soujiro: Look at Kenshin! He's rolling the goat's milk butter, which looks like chocolate and raspberry has been added, in layers of different flavoured ice cream! Now he's rolling it in flour and deep frying it  
  
Megumi: 5 minutes left in the battle:  
  
Kenshin: YAY!!!!!!!!  
  
Shishio: It is almost time Battousai, for you to meet your maker!  
  
Megumi: three...two...one...  
  
GONG  
  
Soujiro: And it's finally over!  
  
Tanikao: So how do you think you did today?  
  
Kenshin: I did okay, and I had some difficulty with this ingredient, but I think I only cooked at 80% focus today....  
  
Shishio: I will win! My superior cooking skills overide Battousai's. And I will be at the top of the Food Catering Chain! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Saito: Today the challenger is offering four dishes:  
+ Kaguzuchi Steak in flavoured butter on top of a Refreshing Minty salad  
with Homuradama dressing  
+ Stuffed red herring with red miso paste with Guren Kaina style filling  
+ Buttery Tempura Chicken with buttery tempura cassava, spring onion,  
and onion rings  
+ Cold Chicken blood flavoured soba  
  
Saito: And the Iron Chef is offering three dishes:  
+ Yuba triangles with Ryu Kan Sen Arachi rice with a nice mustardy  
dipping sauce.  
+ Amakakeru Ryu No Hirameki eel sushi with salmon and avocado  
+ Fried Ice Cream with Chocolaty butter fudge  
  
Saito: And now the tasting!  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Tanikao: So what do you think the verdict should be? Who's cuisine reigns supreme? Tell me in a review! And I want at least 5 reviews before I continue...  
  
Ja ne! 


End file.
